Whether individuals realize it or not, they will seek to have a romantic relationship with someone who possesses the same behavioral traits as their parents. Parents play a significant role in their children’s life in a positive and negative manner. There are individuals who will end up getting into a toxic relationship with an individual who does not possess the capability to love them back due to the fact that may have not received love from their parents during their childhood. Picking a romantic partner who has similar behavioral traits as our parents could be either good or bad depending on the upbringing you had as a child.
There could be an adult who had both parents in their life, but have experienced feeling abandoned due to the fact there might have been times in their life where their parents were not emotionally there for them. Growing up in a household where a child witnesses their parents verbally, physically, and emotionally abusing one another can definitely influence a person to seek to have a relationship with someone who has the same dysfunctional qualities as their parents. Individuals may not realize until they have fully matured that the people we choose to build a romantic relationship can be a replica of one or both of our parents.
Not every aspect of your romantic partner will be the same as your parents, but there are mannerisms that you are familiar with seeing within your mother of father that you would might see with your significant other. Parents are the first teachers a child will ever have because they teach us how to interact with other individuals, how to behave when we are placed in good and bad situations, and what type of individuals we should get into an intimate relationship with. Even if one or both parents were not in a child’s life it will have an affect on them that can lead an individual to make the same mistakes their parents made. Being that I grew up in a household where my parents were once married and got a divorce, I look at relationships a lot differently than most people do.
From my upbringing, I learned that a relationship can only work if two people are willing to fight for one another and to find a common ground to resolve their issues. There are behavioral traits from both of my parents that I would like my romantic partner to have, but at the same time I would like to be with someone who can deal with my imperfections and vice versa. If a child has a parent who was emotionally and physically unavailable during their upbringing, then they more than likely will be with someone just like their parents. I think everyone needs to talk to a life coach or a spiritual leader about their personal issues just to get feedback on what progress they need to make so that they will not push themselves to get into a unhealthy relationship in the near future.
Not every individual was brought up in a household where both of their parents had respect for one another and show them what real love looks like. Some individuals may have never had a good example of their parents being in equally yoked relationship, which can cause confusion and motivate the child to grow up not putting in too much effort into the relationship they will be in with someone in the near future. I would prefer to not be in a relationship with someone who does not have the same behavioral traits as my mother or father because I do not want to have to face same circumstances my parents face during their marriage. There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship with someone who possesses the same characteristics as your parents, but you have to get to the point where you need to not based everything on what you observed during your childhood and to allow God to prepare for your future spouse who might be totally different than what you are used to dealing with.