Almost two years ago, I had just gotten out of a bad relationship where I felt I was going down a destructive path by not honoring God and holding myself accountable for the actions I allowed myself to participate in. I was broken, confused, and felt very insecure about myself. I had lost confidence in myself and believed that I was not good enough to receive love from anyone.
Coping with a breakup can be very challenging because I was having second thoughts if I had made the right decision and if I was capable of receiving love one day. Months went by and I started to believe I was not going to make the same mistakes I initially made with my ex. I entertained the idea of dating because I felt at it was time for me to move on with my life. I jumped into another toxic relationship not really understanding my self-worth and began to believe my current boyfriend at the time would treat me with love and respect.
Although I did not go through so much drama with my current boyfriend at the time, I still felt a disconnection and was unsure if we were truly compatible for one another. This relationship only lasted for only two months, which I am thankful that it did not prolong even further because I was allowing myself to become dependent on a guy, which should have put my focus on God. After that relationship did not work out, I decided that I was through getting into a dead-end relationship with a guy who was not serious about getting married one day.
My sister was reading this book called Saved, Sexy, and Still Single by Mack Major and she was telling me how this book was telling women about the different types of men to look out for and how to build a meaningful relationship with God. At first, I was a little apprehensive about reading this book because I was unsure if I would learn anything that would be beneficial to my wellbeing. I was hooked from the first page of reading this book and felt like God had led my sister to give me this book to allow me to see all of their mistakes I was constantly making with guys and not living a Christian lifestyle.
The day that I read Saved, Sexy, and Still Single changed my life for the better because I made the decision on that same day to rededicate my life to Christ and become celibate. It has been a year since I made this pledge and I can truly say that I have spiritually matured by allowing God to give me the discernment to understand how a relationship should be and to value myself in a way that is pleasing to Jesus.
There are days were it is struggle to not fall into temptation, but God has showed me that if I give my frustrations to him he can make everything better. I am not ashamed of being celibate because it has allowed me to decipher red flags immediately if I get approach by a guy. I can definitely say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life because I have allowed God to change me into a maturer person. I do not know if I would have changed if I did not read Saved, Sexy, and Still Single when my sister told me about it a year ago.
I am thankful that God used my sister to help change my lifestyle and realize that being a Christian is all about taking responsibility for the actions you make by praying on a regular basis and studying the Word of God to understand what it means to be truly loved. I used to be ashamed of sharing my life story with others because I felt that it was unnecessary for people to know my testimony. The Holy Spirit has changed my heart and has allowed me to have the confidence to share my testimony with others who might be going through the same circumstances I went through.
It took me awhile to accept the fact I am single and that does not mean that I am incapable of being loved. I feel that it is necessary to live your life that God will favor because you will see the unconditional love he gives us when we fall short and allows us to correct our behavior before there could be severe consequences. There is nothing wrong with living for God and just because there might be some people who might label you as a “Jesus freak” does not mean you should stop having faith in God.
You have to get to a breaking point in your life or even have an epiphany where you just will not tolerate having toxic relationships in your life. I knew that I was doing something wrong when I got into relationships with guys that was not centered around God. I tried to make myself believe that it was acceptable to be dependent on a guy, which made me really clingy and become agitated when my significant other was not around me.
It may take some people years before they have a revelation that they are worshipping the person they are in a relationship with and not knowing how to properly function when they are not around. It is not healthy to be emotionally-attached to someone who has no intentions of marrying you. Mack Major educated me on how to identify the red flags that women tend to ignore when they are dating a man.
Sometimes when you are involved with someone we can distract ourselves by getting comfortable having a person we can be intimate with instead of trying to figure if this person was sent by God or the devil. Being saved, sexy, and single are all components that can make a person unique and able to understand that they were designed for greatness.