Last night on the Lifetime network, I watched the premiere of the movie called Love by the 10th Date. It was a movie about four women who were having trouble falling in love and actually being able to go on several dates with the same man for a long period of time. One of the characters in the movie, Gabrielle, had never been on 10 dates with the same guy and wanted to test out a theory to see if she could fall in love with a guy by the 10 date.
This movie is an example of how many people don’t even make it to the 10th date because maybe they already have figured out they are not compatible with the person they are dating. I do not think it is a time limit to know if someone has fallen in love with you or not. It takes time to get know someone and verify if you can deal with their personality flaws. I do believe if you have been dating someone for a consecutive amount of time you should know if they wanted to be in a serious relationship with you.
To be honest whether you feel connected to someone on the first date or the tenth date does not mean you are truly compatible with someone. When you are going on dates with someone, it is basically set up the same way as a job interview. You don’t reveal who you truly are to early on in the dating process. Everyone wants to be on their best behavior and show this persona of how genuine they are. Some people will automatically jump into a relationship because they are connected to what the person is telling them about themselves without showing any effort as to why they deserve to be with you.
Most people make the mistake when they are dating someone to not ask questions about their life and to decipher if there are any deal breakers or red flags. No one is perfect, but there are some things people will try to hide and then will reveal when you have fallen in love with the person. If are dishonest while dating someone, you are going to be dishonest in the relationship and even the marriage. I don’t think you should ever put limitations on yourself of when you feel would be the right time for you to date or even fall in love.
Love can sometimes be unexpected so it is difficult to say you will fall in love with someone by the tenth date. Every relationship is different from others; some people will fall in love in with being with the person for a month, others it might take six months or even a year to figure if they are truly in love. Everyone has their own definition of what love is and it would be unfair to place everyone in the same category.
I believe all these theories about love are myths because everyone does view love in the same manner. Being in love with someone takes time and sometimes a person can mistake infatuation or lust for love. You can be in a relationship for someone for several months or years and not even be in love with them. People get comfortable and form a comfort zone with the person they are in a relationship with. Being comfortable in a relationship can end in disaster. I believe relationships should be spontaneous and adventurous.
Each time you go on the date with the same person you should learn something new about them on every date. Don’t get blinded how attracted you are to the other person. There are conversations they need to be had so you can make the decision to figure out if a person is right for you. I believe the only way to get clarity on a situation is to pray about it. Ask God for discernment so you can decipher if a person is playing games or being real with you.
Some people do fall in love by the tenth date and other people don’t. It really depends on what type of person you are involved with and how serious they are about being with you. The person you are dating should be on the same page as you. The relationship will never evolve into anything else, if both individuals do not have the same standards and morals regarding life.