The Dysfunctional Dynamics of A Family

In many families, there is a dysfunctional system where conflict is prevalent because individuals may not know how to communicate with one another in a calm or respectful tone. Tension tends to rise when a person feels as though they are being disrespected and no one is taking the time out to understand their way of thinking. A rift in a family unit can have a detrimental effect on the way family members interact with one another. No one wants to feel as though they are being judged and criticized, but there is a way to convey message to someone without getting upset. The dysfunction in a family can be passed from generation to generation and if this cycle is not broken there could be no hope for a resolution for everyone to make peace and find a common.

Parental figures are the leaders of a family who need to show their children how to treat others with respect and never let anyone tell them they are inadequate. Walking from an argument can be one of the most difficult tasks to complete. The people who tend to hurt you the most are family members. Your relatives know how to get a person riled up to a point where a fight may break out. There are brothers and sisters who cannot even fathom the thought of being in the same room with one another because they have so much hatred and despise in their hearts to even considering forgiving one another. It is not healthy for a child to see their parents or any other adults in their bickering like cats and dogs.


An intervention or family therapy is the best solution to resolved the ongoing conflict between certain family members. There will be some individuals who will not participate in therapy sessions and need to maybe analyze their behavior before trying to fix their relationship they have with their loved-ones. Past issues that have not been addressed in a proper manner tends to be one of the reasons why there is much tension between relatives.

For example, Michael has three older brothers who all went to college and became doctors and open up a practice together. Michael is the youngest child and has always been expected to follow in his siblings’ footsteps. His parents were shocked when he told them that he would be going to law school to become a lawyer. One of Michael’s older brothers felt as though he was not even smart enough to even become a lawyer and start to criticize him every time he mentions anything regarding school. Things have escalated and has resulted in Michael getting into a physical altercation with one of his brother.

A family is supposed to support and respect the choices you make in life. However, at times family member show praise when you accomplish your goals, but then will ostracize you in the next breath when they do not agree with a certain aspect of your life. When are designed to love unconditionally and if you can love someone for who they are, then you should be in their life. No one should have to put up with disrespect from their family.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but you cannot force anyone to have the same beliefs as you do. At times you have to agree to disagree to avoid an argument. There has to be a common ground that family members need to decide what they can discuss or keep some things to themselves. It is common courtesy to keep negative comments to yourself because you do not want anyone to trying to question your motives. The best option in many cases is to maybe avoid going around certain people in your family who you feel as though you will confront if they say something inappropriate.

In the book of Genesis in the Bible, Joseph was viewed as a favorite son of Jacob and Rachel. Joseph’s brothers became envious of all of the attention he was receiving from their father. Jacob might not have been aware of the favoritism he was showing to his youngest son because he was different from his other sons. The relationship that Jacob had with his other children was not as strong as it was with Joseph. Hatred and jealously consumed the hearts of Joseph’s brothers, which influenced them to sell their youngest brother into slavery.

Joseph had no idea that his brothers would betray him, but it did not stop him for completing his God-given tasks. Years passed before Joseph ever saw his brothers again and he was put to the ultimate test to see if he would return the treatment he was showed by his brothers. Joseph had to forgive his brothers what they did to him when he was teenage boy and learn how to let go of the past.

It can be hard to forgive someone who has hurt you dearly, but you cannot let your anger allow you to make irrational decisions.  You never will know why people behave in the way they do. Dysfunction in family units can be resolved over time if everyone is willing to change their behavior. Being deceitful and manipulative to others in your family will get you nowhere in life. If you feel as though you cannot talk to a particular person without getting upset, then maybe a mediator needs to be present to make sure no one crosses the line and says hurtful things.


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