How to Heal From A Breakup

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If you have gone through a breakup, then you probably have went through a phase where you felt alone and miserable. No one wants to put their feelings out in the open and in return get their heart broken because they gave their heart to the wrong person. I had to realized at a certain point in my life that I could not continue to lower my standards and settle for someone I knew for a fact I would never marry. Many people mistake being in love all the time. Love does not hurt, make you feel insecure about yourself, call you derogatory names, physical harm you, never keep with up promises, and etc. Sometimes a breakup could be the best possible solution in some people’s lives because maybe they need a wakeup call and realize that they are putting their time and energy into the wrong things. A relationship is not going to last if two people are not on the same page. Being that I do not believe in sex-before-marriage because sex clouds judgement and individuals tend to make irrational decisions because they are not thinking clearly. I know people will disagree with what I am about to say, but this is my opinion.

Sex is a commitment between a husband and wife, not boyfriend and girlfriend. If you have not bought the cow, but are getting all the milk for free then you really do not appreciate the value of the cow. In other words, if you are in a relationship with a man and sleeping together, how do you think he respects you and you are showing him that your dignity means nothing. If you do not demand respect, then you can not expect a guy to. If you do not want to have sex, or want to be celibate, it would be definitely wise to not get into a relationship with someone who is not celibate. Also, another thing that can head for disaster is living with your boyfriend or girlfriend. I understand some people believe in the theory, you do not truly know a person until you live with them. This theory is true, but if you are not married, then why are you living with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Shacking up or playing house is not the way to go. There are consequences to every action that you make. I know for myself living with a boyfriend is not an option. A boyfriend does not mean that he gets the same benefits as a husband. A boyfriend does not get all your time, your body, or your secrets because he is not your husband. I know that people make mistakes and that it can be hard at times to not put yourself in tempting situations. Things happen all the time, but if you are getting the same answer all the time, then maybe it is something in the problem you are doing wrong. If you are getting involved with someone and make the decision to have sex with them without fully knowing who they are, you are putting yourself at risk to be hurt.

I know that some people may think of it as a dream if you were a virgin and your husband-to-be was a virgin as well, but that is just not the reality of life. Everyone is not a virgin and just because you are a virgin does not mean you are free from sin. A breakup can have the same effect on someone as if a person they knew were dying. It is hard dealing with a breakup especially if you grew to love the person you were with for a certain amount of time. I really can not tell you when is the right time to get over someone because it takes time and patience. I would say after a breakup, you are the most vulnerable you have ever been because during the phase of your breakup you will want to talk about the issues you had with your ex, the red flags you ignored during the relationship, and what you need to do to prevent yourself from being hurt again. For me when I went through my breakup, I became very angry and bitter. I did not fully allow myself to get over the breakup and instead of me getting over it in a matter of months, it took me about a year and a half to get over the hurt and pain I dealt with on a daily basis with my ex. You have to get to a point in your life where you can not continue to make excuses for acting a certain way. I feel like if your breakup happened a few years ago and you are still crying over it as if it happened yesterday, you really need to talk to a professional about your relationship issues. If you can’t move pass a breakup how do you expect for the right person to come into your life and you are able to pay attention to them.

No matter what obstacles you faced in your past relationships, you still can be a winner at the end of the day by not allowing a breakup to determine whether or not you will fall in love. You are loved if you realize it or not, God loves you so much and will never leave your side. When a man or woman you thought would be the one, but had different intentions, don’t allow yourself to become bitter or grow hatred in your heart. It can be so easy to want for the person who hurt you to feel your wrath. It is best if you move on with your life and let God handle the situation. Everything in life takes time to heal, just like a  scalped wound, your heart is similar to that. Allow yourself to grieve over the lost, but after while you have to get back on and move on with your life because God has assignments you need to complete. You have the potential to be something great in life, don’t allow anyone to interfere with your goals and aspirations because they were not the man or woman for you. God will eventually will bring the right person in your life, however are you going to continue to mope and be sad or are you going to reinvent yourself and learn from your mistakes.

 

 

 

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6 comments

  1. kiranmag says:

    Loved reading your write and absolute agree with it

    Like

  2. Atinuke Wale-Awe says:

    Great write up. love the way you pour out the truth, thats really what is needed

    tinukeawe.wordpress.com

    Like

  3. Raisa Adeeba says:

    This is great, 🙂

    I also do not believe that a boyfriend should get the same privilege as a husband. I also don’t see the point in “living together” relationship, because in my opinion I would only want to live with my family or my husband and create a family with him. I am really glad you shared your honest opinions about these factors. Also, getting over a break up is definitely a really painful phase but with the belief of “everything happens for a reason” has helped me get over my break up 🙂

    Like

    • alliejay95 says:

      Yes living with a guy can have a variety of consequences. It can be a fairy-tale to live with boyfriend, but then it will eventually become a disaster waiting to happen. It’s just best to wait and rush into a relationship because there could be some red flags about the person.

      Liked by 1 person

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